A Christian Parent's First Priority

“My child moved out and doesn’t want anything to do with church!” I have heard this so many times over my years of ministry from parents. This is such a tough thing to swallow as a Christian parent. I get it - I worry about my daughters’ faith and pray for it daily. As a Christian parent, we need to understand our children’s faith formation does not begin in the church, but rather in our home. Are we making it a priority to pray and read the Bible as a family? Go to church as a family? And, most importantly, show what it means to be one who has put their belief in Jesus?

Now, this doesn’t mean to force them to make a decision of faith because only God is able to provide a heart transformation in all of us. What it does mean is to show our children what it is to be a Christian and pray for them as they grow and hope our thoughts, words and actions were instilled in their lives and they then put their faith, trust, hope and belief in Jesus. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Start a youth out on his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it.” From the moment our children are born we should be showing them what it means to be a Christian - that we love them and Jesus loves them, they matter and are a big deal not just to us but to their Creator. 

How do we do this, Christian parents? Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and with all your strength. These words I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house, on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.” You may know verse five as the “Greatest Commandment.” We are to love God with EVERYTHING we have and then to repeat, talk and show this to our children starting in our house. This passage doesn’t say, “talk to your children about their faith for 45-60 minutes each Sunday morning and that’s good enough.” The church is to walk alongside the family, by sharing the Gospel when our children are at church, but also to equip the parents to follow this Scripture and take this responsibility on as our own.

Parents, our first priority as a Christian is to show what it means to love God, love one another and love our neighbors and do that in thought, word and action to our children. I always say faith is caught more than it’s taught. Just as we can’t tell our children that verbal abuse is wrong and then verbally abuse our spouse and expect our children to obey, we can’t tell them that having a relationship with Jesus is important and then not model that journey ourselves. 

We have an amazing honor and privilege of being parents. Don’t take this lightly. Don’t take your children’s spiritual formation lightly. This is eternity we are talking about and it’s your child’s eternity. We are so quick to sit down for 3 hours and watch a football game with our children, but we so often can’t find even a few minutes a day to tell our children Jesus loves them, we love them and that they matter through our thoughts, words and actions. We got this, parents! Together, we can do this!

Matt Coyne - Student Minister, Sturgeon Bay Community Church